Time for Braces

Well, my dd got braces today. Just on the top with bottoms to come later. Boy have things changed since I was a kid. Firstly, you only got braces if you really needed them. Secondly, braces are now cool. Cool for the kids, but not for me shelling out $4,500, and that is with insurance! After placing the metal bands and wire on her teeth, the dental assistant comes up with up with what is basically a color wheel for the individual band type thingies that go on the front of each tooth. Wow, like 25 colors. I recommended the light blue to ease her (um, me) into the whole color in your mouth thing, and, well, to offset her eyes. I think that the “goth” kids are probably choosing black, the cheerleaders pink or maybe the school colors, and the color blind probably purple and green.

I think that this whole new color thing in dental and medical “braces” is an interesting new trend. A couple of years ago, my son broke his wrist, and needed a cast. No more plaster – it’s all about fiberglass now. The assistant, yes, only assistants for my money (why then, am I paying a premium for a “doctor” when all I ever see are nurse practitioners and assistants? But that’s another rant) comes in with, literally, a color swatch kit. Now liking home decorating, I think that this is way cool. As she shows each of them to ds, she gives an explanation of each: neon orange, navy blue, French (really, she said that) blue, red, camouflage (for the manly man), glow in the dark, neon green, clear…Wait, just stop right there! Did she really think that she had to go past “glow in the dark” for a 10 year old boy? Come on, I mean, talk about burying your lede!

This makes me think that I have completely missed the boat. I am totally going to start a color coordination business just to assist children and their families in choosing the right color combination. I can see it now, “Oh, I see your daughter as wearing a spring palette, she absolutely must have the lilac and pink.” Or, “That yellow completely washes out your coloring, you need to stay in the blue tones.” How about, “Um, you’re a redhead, what are you thinking wearing green, you’ll look like a Christmas tree.” Finally, “That purple completely clashes with your dining room decor. How on earth do you expect your family to eat while being nauseated by that color combination.”

I really think that I’m really on to something here;-)